Confessions of a Concert Hater
TweetI hate concerts. I have a rather visceral reaction to them. You can try to pigeon-hole me with Aurangazeb & other infamous music haters. But, you’ll be sorely mistaken. I’m a music lover. Which is precisely why I hate concerts. That begs an addendum: I. Hate. Concerts. In. Chennai.
A love-crazed Orsino exclaims in The Twelfth Night – “If music be the food of love – Play on”. I’m not Orsino. For me, Music is the food of life, my life-blood. My love for music is embarrassingly intense. When I hear Raga Hindolam (Malkauns), I think it originated in the electric bursts of my brain, sewn together with axons from my heart. Dash it all, that Raga is my alter ego. It is bold, proud, serene, unrelenting, out-spoken, androgynous. No pathos like Shiva Ranjani. No pandering to the masses like Pantuvarali. No piety like Sri. No aloofness like Shudha Dhanyasi. No begging like Desh. No fluttery eyed prettiness of Hamsanandi. You get the basic idea.
So what’s with concerts and me?
First of all, I can’t stand most live performances. There’s always someone singing off-key. Shruti – singing on-key – is of paramount importance. Only rigorous training and discipline can ensure this. I remember this Super Bowl performance by The Black Eyed Peas – yeah, they are no Sting. But, they do churn out catchy songs. The Peas were particularly awful that day – they couldn’t hold a single note on-key. And the crowds went berserk, applauding till their hands shriveled off. For Pete’s Sake!
Some call this crowd behavior “Euphoria” – I call it “Mob Hysteria”. I find it grating. A true lover of any art form is discerning. They don’t give a standing ovation to pure cacophony. They don’t start screaming their heads off at the opening bars of a particularly bad song, where the band & the singer have missed the scale by a mile!
I also find the seating arrangements in concerts absurd. I feel strait-jacketed – For no offense other than carrying a dumb ticket stub. I mean, they expect you to sit in an uncomfortable chair for 3 hours, all dressed to the nines. Me a very fidgety creature. I like walking around. Lying down in my sofa. With legs dangling on my coffee table. Dressed in my favorite Jammies – Powder Blue Tommy Hilfiger, with Red & White Apples printed all over, for those of you that are dying to know.
I like deciding what I hear. I like a bit of surprise from time to time, but a concert sort of wrenches the choice totally from you. You can’t even mumble a word of protest if you don’t like the song. I’m sort of like the food critic Anton Ego in Ratatouille. He spits out what he doesn’t like. I squelch my speakers if I don’t like what I hear.
And then, I have a pretty eclectic taste. I crave variety. I maybe in the mood for some Rai wailing from Cheb Mami – and 10 minutes later, need a dose of Gregorian chants. As if rubbing salt into wounds, in most concerts, you are doomed to hear the same genre of music, monotonously in the same voice for 3 hours. I can’t handle that tedium. I’ll feel bound & gagged.
Imagine listening to 3 hours of Indian Classical music – which in its purer forms is an acquired taste. Many people find the syncopated rhythms of Filmy Music more appealing, for a reason. In a traditional Carnatic Cutchery, my ears will be assaulted by supra-pure renditions, generally sans the benefits of a big band. In the end, I’ll be a blubbering cretin in a stupor. I’ll be too flummoxed to tell the difference between Todi & Kalyani.
Added to that is a new wrinkle. How in the Lords name can anyone do 1 thing – in this case, listening to music – non-stop for 3 hours? Sweet Jumping Jehovah. That’s a large scale sensory invasion. Gourmandizing. I can’t do anything for 30 minutes at a stretch. I become restless. I even have to read at least 3 books at the same time, so that I don’t feel constrained.
And last but not the least – Like most connoisseurs of music, noise nauseates me. And not just figuratively. There’s no “fine line” separating music and noise – there’s a yawning inter-galactic space between the 2. And if you can’t tell the difference, you have no business making or purveying music. Decibel level (dB) is a main differentiator. Normal conversation is 60 – 70 dB. Any sound – even if its Mel Torme’s delectable scatting – ceases to be pleasing beyond 85 dB.
When was the last time you attended a concert in Chennai? I have the sad duty of telling you that I went to a Fusion Concert of Ganesh & Kumaresh. I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach the minute I saw the monstrous speakers. There was nothing wrong with the mellifluous rendering of the Violin Duo. But the damn speakers were hollering so loudly that I could feel my cochlear fluid oozing out. I had to endure a horrendous migraine & vomiting for the next 18 hours. Noise affects me physically.
Which is why I avoid the Cinema Halls in Chennai. I once went to a multiplex (Satyam Cinemas) to watch “Casino Royale”. Not that I love “Bond. James Bond” – but I was curious to see how beefcake Daniel Craig would measure up. Loved him, but after 1 hour, the noise got to me. I was totally disoriented by the ruckus. I feebly squeaked to the Homo sapiens next to me – by some luck it was my husband – that I needed fresh air. And collapsed. He dragged me by my legs to the nearest exit. My Hero.
A decent concert hall needs good acoustics, not a brazen speaker system. “Good” and “More” are not synonyms.
Which brings me to the general tendency of neophytes in Chennai. Of late, “More” seems to be their Mantra of choice. Sweets? Add MORE Sugar. So much sugar, that every sweet is indistinguishable from another. Clothes? MORE color, patterns and embroidery. So much that you’ll win a Harlequin look-alike contest. Music? MORE volume. So much volume that it assaults & tears your ear-drums. What happened to all the tasteful people in Chennai? I have a feeling they are all aestivating in the extreme heat. Wish they’ll wake up soon & rescue me from the clutches of the vulgarians.
Till that day of deliverance, I’m steering clear of Cinema & Concert halls. At least in Chennai.
That was awesome Priya welcome back………U sound a lot like Jerome K Jerome…..it took time for me understand wether u like Carnatic or not ….:)
Great post ( I will read it again with a pocket dictionary).
I too hate concerts, for reasons entirely different from yours. I don’t have music knowledge to figure out whether the singer is singing in Shruthi, or whatever it is.
I just can’t sit patiently for 3 hours in a place & put up with those loud speakers. But I do watch movies in theatres.
Karthik – Thanks for your comment.
I love Carnatic music. Especially Balamurali, Hyderabad Brothers, MLV, Seshagopalan, OS Arun….I just hate listening to it in a concert 🙂
Balaji – Thanks for your comment.
Yea, I can’t sit patiently for 3 hours either. The last time I did that, I was getting married. I couldn’t shorten the ceremony more than that 😉
WOW Priya…
Good one Priya. Welcome back. It is probably one of the most interesting reasons i have heard for not liking concerts. For my part, i just love the ambience of being amidst so many people, be it concerts or cricket matches or movies. It is a nice feeling to enjoy something as a group. But i guess that type of opinion about concerts wouldn’t make for a such an interesting and humorous take on the topic 🙂
Vamsi – Thanks 🙂 You are too kind.
Sukumar – Thanks for your comment.
Love concerts, huh? Can you sing along with the band, play air guitar or blow raspberries at the vocalist for fumbling?
And no Sir – I don’t like being packaged like a sardine in a can in a crowded concert hall. Where the guy or gal in the next seat may stink. Don’t even get me started about how acute my sense of smell is & how I struggle with my quivering nose in this over-crowded planet. That’s another blog post altogether.
Well said.
Been quite some time you posted 🙂
and that was some take on why you dont like concerts!
Of course at concerts most or some of the time bands sound different from what you had heard on your noise isolated ear buds but then my idea on concerts is more about going crazy with the crowd, sing along with the band etc. I mean you have certainly experienced what the band has to offer in a more customized ambiance (aka your place), in a concert its probably about knowing that some of your favourite bands are playing your favourite numbers…
But hey thats just me!
Volume i think is a completely relative issue, I think.
Priya
Welcome back and we missed your humorous and acrid posts for a while.
I don’t know the ABCD of carnatic music but I think that someone who knows inside out of carnatic music can’t tolerate (zero tolerance) a single mistake from stage singers. Great example is Subbudu – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P._V._Subramaniam_(Subbudu)
Light music is always good when you are in control. I don’t like singers going their “own key” while performing a film song. The example would be SPB, I love his songs, but hate it when he goes on different tune or key while performing on stage and I hate when Ilayaraja does this by changing the lyrics trying to please the audience. Another issue with the concert is, they try to over achieve by using their old instruments. Their instruments are good for semi-old Tamil songs but they try to play latest ARR or Yuvan’s music. In other words, try to “murder” the song, which is highly undesirable.
Nowadays movie halls sound quality is really bad, by the name of latest technology like Dolby, DTS, Quebec DTS, DTS HD and something called DTS-CSS. I think that movie halls are not installed DTS correctly and if they want to achieve correct DTS, I believe they have to build new walls etc. Last year when I visited India, I saw “Shivaji” and after the movie, I became deaf for 1 – 2 hours 🙂 . But believe me our movie lovers really love this sound and they would watch one more time for this “explode sounds”.
Welcome back Priya. Nice to hear from you. As usual funny and interesting.
As for me, I have been to just one concert, can remember – in fact I can remember only one – Phil Collins and even that I was way back in bleacher seats – imbibing the smell of you now what that invariably permeates such events. Of course I did not inhale it!!. I am not counting the amateur ones like the BITS social etc. here
The cinema halls in India are bent on breaking ones ears – perhaps they have some special deals with the ear doctors. What make is ts crazier is that the volume seems to vary at different points in a movie. For example, interludes in a song are typically played at a higher volume. So, you are suddenly jolted from your slumber while watching a crappy movie. Perhaps that may have been the intention all along.
However, I love watching live matches/games. I have been to a few baseball, hockey and football games in the US and I like being around bunch of folks shouting at the top of our voice cheering for the local team. Mob mentality kinda gets to you in such settings. And also, the fact that I know it will get over in 3 hours is a blessing. And this brings me to watching cricket. I enjoy watching it, though sitting through a one-day match in a dingy chair in ‘D” pavillion in Anna Stadium was a sure way to fatten the pockets of a chiropractor. I would certainly not mind watching the 20-20 matches. Must be fun.
Ganesh
Priya
Although i didn’t understand most of your post about the different ragas you had mentioned here, i couldn’t stop laughing at these lines.
” I like walking around. Lying down in my sofa. With legs dangling on my coffee table. Dressed in my favorite Jammies – Powder Blue Tommy Hilfiger, with Red & White Apples printed all over, for those of you that are dying to know.” – i clearly visualised you.
and
“I feebly squeaked to the Homo sapiens next to me – by some luck it was my husband – that I needed fresh air. And collapsed. He dragged me by my legs to the nearest exit. My Hero.” –
– Good to see you back. Loved your post.Keep writing…
April – Thanks for your comment & kind words.
Jassi – Thanks for your comment.
Yes, many people love concerts because – they get to see their favorite band in person. Its an experience, I agree. Perhaps I wouldn’t mind attending a concert by AC/DC, Rachid Taha or Girija Devi. Or Placido Domingo. But after an hour or so of that, I’ll start looking at my watch furtively – “Is it time yet? Can I go home now without looking like a Philistine?”.
Decibel levels are only somewhat relative. Human ear is after all an instrument – prolonged exposure to 95-100 dB or more can cause permanent damage.
I read that deafness in India is on the increase these days, BTW. People in India have steadily desensitized themselves to noise – thru constant exposure to Himesh Reshamiyya & Remix “songs”, I suspect 😆
Hahaha..Super post Priya! I totally agree about the loud volumes in cinema halls.
My dad loves listening to music in deafening volume. I don’t know how he enjoys that. My mom is totally the opposite. So you can naturally understand what most fights in the home are about 😀
I love watching movies in cinema halls with my friends. It is a lot of fun. We infact add more noise to the the already existing noise by shouting and whistling 😛 As for concerts, I have just been to a couple of them. One was a rock band and I just couldn’t understand what they were playing. The other one was a SPB concert and that one was good.
However totally loved your post. Especially those two lines which Sujatha mentions 🙂
Subba – Thanks for your comment.
You don’t know Classical Carnatic music? Lucky you. After listening to some CDs recently, I wish I didn’t either 😉
Yes – Subbudu was a great critic & as far as I know, a fair judge.
What an interesting take on lyrics. See, I don’t mind people changing them impromptu. But, I can see how it would irritate someone who takes lyrics seriously.
Old instruments – wow! Once saw Sting with a Hurdy-Gurdy & I was so blown away by the sound. But I guess what you mean is the appropriateness of using a certain instrument in a certain number. I completely agree. I’m totally pissed off when I expect a Cello, but hear an acoustic guitar instead – sort of ruins the song.
Whenever I watch movies in Chennai, I use ear plugs made of cotton balls. Believe me, even after all that, I find the audio too loud!
Ganesh – Thanks for your comment.
Phil Collins concert, huh? Not bad, my brother’s maiden concert experience was Samantha Fox. As far as I remember her “talents” lay elsewhere.
I thought all the fumes in concerts was special effects? No?? There’s some “other” reason?? Hee hee hee.
So you think crappy movies jack up the volume to wake you up? Never realized that before. That explains why its always noisy these days in the movie theaters in India.
Live matches. Yeah, once in a while that’s fun. I remember watching Andy Roddick in Flushing Meadows. But, I do miss replays, close-up shots etc 😉 I mean, you blink, you miss an ace. And you won’t even know if its on the line or out. Some seats have TVs installed – sort of defeats the purpose of live sports 😀
Sujatha – Thanks for your comment & kind words.
One need need not be an exponent of Carnatic music actually. If you know the Raga in which a song is set, you just focus on the emotions it generates. Or, the character of the Raga – and as an extension, what it is best suited for. Pretty soon, you’ll start feeling that Raga Hemavathi can be used to invoke a Middle Eastern “feel”, Raga Revathi for Vedic chants and Raga Bowli or Bhoopalam to indicate sunrise/early morning etc.
Saraswathi – Thanks for your comment.
They say love for music is mostly about recognition. Either you recognize the number that’s played. Or, you see a part of yourself in the song or the genre.
Your dad loves high volume? 😮 I know what to do with him – send him to that rock concert. Although, I’m rather partial to rock myself. Mostly, that genre of lyrics speak to me.
Hehe 😛
I like variety myself , I mean i cant imagine how people can-not like variety 🙂
Volume part (lol!) , I m so bloody moody here, Its all in the mood. I m feeling energetic and loud, I turn the volume oh so high and when i m in a chilled mood, i m listening to music on a low volume 🙂
I m one of them desensitized people ! But you know moodily desensitized ! 😉
Jassi – Hmm, yeah I see what you mean. Many people like a lot of volume when they are with friends in a cricket stadium for e.g. High octane situations require high volume.
I guess I’m one of those un-clubbable people who don’t like high volume. I also hate it when people keep chattering – regardless of the volume. I like meaningful conversation, or peace & quiet. I guess I’m just wired differently, being an introvert.
Priya …u a introvert …thats a surprise..i always saw u as person who wud yap toi glory………i guess as the GodFather says..”Assumption is the mother of all _____ups” ..I was wrong in assuming u r one..
Karthik – Yes, many people think I’m out-going, because I’m friendly & as playful as a monkey 😉 But, there’s a difference.
I love having in-depth conversations with people – can’t really handle small talk. I hate parties – they always give me an awful migraine.
Let me write about MBTI (Myers Briggs Type Indicator) in my next post.
Great to know that Priya……
But some how i was never impressed with MBTI ..it have given me different results…..I know I am an introvert…but cupla of times MBTI has shown it otherwise…
But i dont know about monkey part but i thgt u wud be chatter box like a Kea:)..now got know ur reserved as a Tiger( coming out only @ night :))…
Hi Priyaka,
Awesome post.
U right there is no fine line between noise and music. The volume level at houses is so much now days that all u can hear is a jarring noise not music.
Gone are the days when music was personal and was supposed to be soothing or energizing. Its draning now a days just because of the voulme levels
Karthik – MBTI itself is a good model. It all depends on how good the test is. Simple Yes/No tests with very few questions don’t work – there’s a comprehensive 110 question test that works well. Plus, if you don’t have very strong preferences, your type might switch every time you take the tests. It happens to people who have more balance. Me, I have ultra-strong preferences, so I always come out with the same result – INTP.
Sowmya – Thanks for your comment. I wonder if its just migraine sufferers like you & me that notice the decibel levels 🙂 Its impossible to ignore something that makes you vomit 😀
U have made my day Priya…U r first soul to tell me that I have some balance in life…:)
Priyakka
I agree, migraine patients like us can’t stand stench, heat, accute light, or noise; even loud music. I stopped going to theaters because of migraine. Am sure to get migraine if I go to theatres. TN theatres claims to have DTS, but it is worse than the loud speakers of mariamman koil 😉
Am reminded of the mariamman koil loud speakers now, that too during annual/semster exams, around march, there used to be a ceremony called ‘poo-choridhal’ in mariamman temples in and around trichy. Not only the temples will have speakers, but people used to take flowers to temple in tricycles, they’ll also have a tape recorder and loud speakers. More than studying and facing examinations, studying amidst these noise would be a great deal.
Keep rocking/writing
Rupi
Rupi – Thanks for your comment.
Loudspeakers of Mariamman Temples 😆 That’s well said! People carried Tape Recorders with them? 😮 People simply like OD-ing on sensory stimulation, don’t they? Its sort of like an orgy for their eyes, taste-buds or ears. Migraine sufferers probably go thru a “buffer overflow” situation & experience physical pain & related angst.
Priya , great post.I never thought the way you have described live shows.Now I know why my husband does not want to come with me for live shows…I just love to , and i normally do not miss any opportunity that comes on my way.Again as I need to give time to my family . I have stopped planning for those for so many years…..
Anything live on stage gives me a great kick ,even the faux pas..the off tunes,the missing of steps , forgetting a dialogue ..everything.I love the way artistes cover up those faux pas too. I just enjoy the feeling of getting connected with the stage.
Thanks…for reminding me 🙂 .I should treat myself with one live show at least once a month.
Sharmi – Thanks for your comment.
Your husband’s in the same boat as me? Its nice to know that I have company 😉 Perhaps he hates singers coughing on stage during live performances. Even Kishori Amonkar did that a few times, right in the middle of some delightful Alap of Rag Bhinna Shadja 😥 That ruined my listening experience 😐
Mistakes on stage give you kicks? Even in songs? I’ll never understand people 🙁
Priya,
Very interesting post. I can see why you hate concerts 🙂
I wonder if the decibel level is kept high in concert halls and theaters in India due to extraneous noises / noise pollution. I am no expert in this as I’ve not stepped into a theater in India in over 12 years. However, I am able to relate to it. Even at home, when there are conversations around me, I need to up the volume in my TV or music system a little bit to hear over the noises.
In India, as people generally like to make a lot of noise (traffic noises, blaring loudspeakers, honking, loud-talking etc), I wonder if we are completely de-sensitized to noise levels and so need the decibel count very high in theaters and music halls. Another reason could be that as audience, we tend to make lot more noise in theaters in India (talking, whistling, jumping in front of the screen etc). I know it’s an irritant for the “don’t want to get hit with a 100 db count all the time” listener, but that could be a reason why theaters jack up their db levels.
I wonder what the theater/concert db level trend is in countries where population density is high and noise pollution is high! I’d like to think that it would be very similar to India.
Personally, I’d like my music to be mild, but, it depends on the mood. There are times when I run it blaring – typically when I am in my car and if I am traveling alone listening to rock. I don’t like concerts because for listening to one good song, I have to sit through a plethora of unknowns from the artist. I can pick the right song that I like and listen to it. I still like theaters for the ambiance that it provides and the ability to watch a movie earlier than it hits DVDs. However, it has to be at the right acoustic level.
NK – Thanks for your comment.
Interesting! I think you are right – Yes, Indians are noisy AND the theaters/concert halls have to drown all other noises. I’ve snapped at people sitting next to me in theaters for yapping on their cell phones.
I don’t like music that seeps around you from an unknown source, unless I’m dining in a restaurant 🙂 At home or in the car, I like it to be a steady volume – I may increase or decrease it slightly depending on the genre. But 100 dB!? I’ll need an aspirin.
As N K Sridhar says, in certain places the volume is to be kept (reasonably) high, that too in a large gathering, if the song has to reach till the corner of the hall.
But certain sounds like honking is considered as fun here. Though there are restrictions near hospitals, but nobody cares for it. Evreytime I take my 10month son out, loud honks scare him and he becomes cranky after that. Thanks to those who imposed ban on Wolf honks; it is terrible. Even grown ups would palpiate on hearing that.
I always wonder what makes people talk on their phone like public speaking!!
Priya,
Check out the article
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1310/is_1994_June/ai_15630943/pg_1
Don’t know how much truth is there to different personalities adjusting to noise pollutions differently, but, that’s an interesting thought. It’s an interesting coincidence that you were talking about MBTI in this post 🙂
What caught my attention about the French ministry report was
In a manual entitled Noise and Its Effects on Health the French Ministry of Social Affairs emphasizes that “active, ambitious people with a sense of responsibility seem less bothered by noise than introverted people”. It adds, “Certain groups are more sensitive to noise or are apt to be made more sensitive to it by specific factors: those prone to depression, hypochondria and anxiety or who are going through a difficult experience such as a divorce, unemployment or relational problems.”
Don’t know how they figured this out and what their sample size was. Couldn’t get to the French ministry report online.
I had a thought after reading this article – Is there any relationship between personality types and migraines? I told myself I am only pigeon-holing, but curiosity got the better of me and I wanted to see if someone has published something about this.
Interestingly, there’s a study done on this in Italy. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17230053?dopt=Abstract
As always, please have your tin-foil hat and pinch of salt ready because there’s a very broad brush used here to paint.
Priya,
I agree with you, Indians do make a lot of noise/ are more loud. In our department, when the Indian students meet and talk it becomes so noisy, one of our professors or admin staff comes and hushes us to speak in a lower voice. Whereas I have noticed Chinese/American students here who speak in a very low voice.
May be we are used to loud speaking/more noises right from childhood.
Rupika – More speakers strategically placed can cover large halls. I think people are noisy in India because they love generating din.
I wonder how people in other densely populated, middle income countries – like China – conduct themselves in public. I have a feeling they’ll be as noise-loving as us. I could be wrong.
So your son hates all the noise. That’s good news for us. At least that means we are not genetically pre-disposed to boorishness 🙂
NK – Thanks for the links. They are pretty interesting.
Migraine & diminished pain bearing capacity – Hmm. Seems to be a generalization. I’ve sort of elevated pain-bearing to ascetic heights. For e.g., I don’t take novocaine for dental procedures.
It does seem to me that introverts will have more trouble with noise (& other distractions), though the reverse may not be true. I can’t stand flashing strobe lights either. Though I hope I’m not “inactive & irresponsible” 😀
Saraswathi – Yeah, sandwiched between 1.2 billion people, we all learn to shout a bit to be heard 😉
We only learn what our community considers important. And civic sense takes a back seat in a developing nation’s struggle for survival. Not that I’m justifying it – far from it.
When people get some civic sense, they’ll not litter the streets, damage public property or disturb others by being noisy. Perhaps schools can start teaching such things to children. Who else will teach them?? Their parents?? Ha, Fat Chance!
Priya and Carnatic Concerts?!!Good!
To have a real kick of concerts,I invite u to pune to attend SAWAI GANDHARWA concerts held in dec.There artists will not bore u for 3 hours,artists perform for 1 and half hours,vocalists,instrumentalists and variety of performers keep on changing and perform for whole night.
There u can walk around,run,jump,…without disturbing others.My husband accompanied me for these concerts,when i was enthralled in wonderful world of music,he got bored after 6 hours and on seeing his pitiable condition,i had to return home at 11 pm,the concerts were continuuing till 4 am.
So,getting bored in concerts is common syndrome,when u get bored ,u can come out and have some masala milk,panipuris etc to make the concerts more interesting.as my MIL always does,take cotton balls for your ears.!
Padma – Thanks for your comment.
And thanks for your invitation. For a concert lover like you, 1.5 hours may seem like a jiffy. But to me, it would seem like a life term in a penitentiary! Does the genre change every 90 minutes, or is it just the performer & the band?
Its good that I can walk around, but I still can’t decide which song will be played. I still can’t handle the boredom of the same genre playing on & on for 90 minutes.
Your MIL takes cotton balls as ear plugs to a concert? I have a better solution. I stay away from concerts 😀 And let the I-POD rule.